I come from a large family. My parents were devout Catholics and instilled a love for our faith into me. As far back as I can remember we always said the family Rosary together.
I left home in Ireland in November 1967 to work in England training as a nurse. At first I did pray the Rosary, however, as I had no one to pray it with me I gradually stopped praying it, also I became very shy about praying aloud with others and should the Rosary be recited in public I would not join in. Whenever I visited my home in Ireland I did not join them in the Rosary. I did keep up the practice of my faith, attending Mass regularly. I thought I was a good Catholic, but I now know that I was just a mediocre one. The Mass always had special meaning for me I never understood why this was until recent years. I can remember as a little child pestering my father to take me with him to Mass every morning at 6am.
I married in May 1972 and have two sons. I did not have very good health for many years. Whilst visiting in Ireland in 1991 I was at the visionary’s home sitting in the kitchen with the visionary’s parents. The visionary and another member of the family had gone into another room to pray the Rosary. After about five minutes I found myself getting out of the chair and going into the other room. I cannot fully describe the feeling but it was like I was gently but firmly being ushered into the other room. I sat down all the time thinking, “what am I doing here”, but I could not get up and leave so I just sat there mumbling the prayers with them. All through the Rosary I was very distracted thinking about what I would do the next day, thinking about the children. Also, there was a loud argument going on in the house next door and I could hear some of it through the adjoining wall and I was listening to it. When the Rosary was finished the visionary looked at me and said that there was a message for me from Our Lady. Somehow I wasn’t surprised it was as though I was expecting it. That message is in Our Lady’s book the ‘pearl’ is “pray slowly, take time to pray. “That message really spoke to me that night. Not only in the words “what am I doing here” but also “the storm outside” (the argument next door.)
At that time I did not feel I was to get involved in any way but kept in touch to hear what Our Lady was saying. When the book of messages was first printed I received some copies. One of those copies I sent to my friend Monica Wedderburn in New York. Monica was not a Catholic, she was not even baptised and through Our Lady’s book of messages Monica was received into the Catholic Church in Easter 2000. I was using my copy of the book just as Our Lady asked us to use it. My work then was in Family Law, however, I was increasingly unhappy in this sphere and was praying to Our Lady to help me move out of Family Law and into an area of law I liked. Well, She answered part of my prayer; I was made redundant in January 1999. I sent my curriculum vitae to various firms dealing with the area of law I liked. Whenever I received a response or an appointment date for an interview I would say a prayer and open the book asking Our Lady if this was to be the job for me. Each time I opened the book asking that question I always got the same answer. The pearl is “I do everything. “ Part of that message is “I invite you to suspend your decisions on anything you might be planning.” I did not understand what Our Lady was trying to say to me, as I needed to work, I had bills to pay. However, I decided to take a week out and go to Ireland on a retreat to pray for direction and to try to discern what Our Lady was asking of me. By this time I had started to pray the Rosary regularly and was attending Mass at least once a day, sometimes more often. I felt so much at peace whilst at Mass and also sitting with the Lord whenever I could find where there was Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. I had also joined the Legion of Mary.
Whilst in Dublin I was told that a cousin of mine, who had been lapsed from his faith for about forty years, was in hospital. He had had major surgery and had almost died. I went to see him. At the hospital I spoke to him about our faith and he said that this incident had made him reflect. I encouraged him to pray the Rosary and as he did not have any Rosary beads, I gave him mine. I told him through the Rosary, Our Lady would help him. When I went to the visionary’s home that evening for prayer I did not have any Rosary beads. I asked if I could borrow some. The Rosary beads that were put into my hands were beautiful but it was the feeling I had them I felt very strongly that they should be mine and I asked if I could keep them and was told no! Others have asked and been refused so I could not have them. The feeling I had that they should be mine would not leave me so I continued to ask for them, making a real pest of myself It was the following day and l was still asking for the beads so in exasperation I was told to say a prayer and open Our Lady’s book, if She indicated that I was to have them then they would be mine. I said a prayer and asked Our Lady if the beads should be mine. The pearl of the message I opened at was “Pray for My intentions.” In that message I felt I was being given direction from Our Lady as to my work in the future. Also in that message Our Lady says, “hold on to beautiful beads”, this was my answer concerning the Rosary beads. I believed that they were a gift from Our Lady and was eager to show them to all. When the week was up I went back to my home in England and did not look for further employment in law but devoted myself to spreading Our Lady’s Message of Mercy. It was at that time I met Stella Lilley who runs the Padre Pio information centre in England.
Some months later Stella Lilley asked me to drive her and a friend to Cornwall to visit her aunt who was a Sister in a Carmelite Convent at Looe in Cornwall, this I did. While I was there I asked Mother Superior if I could speak to the Sisters about Our Lady’s message. I was allowed to do so and Mother Superior even removed the top part of the partition so that we could see the Sisters more clearly. I spoke about Our Lady’s message and after I had finished the Sisters came forward and were asking questions. One of the Sisters, Sister Sally, asked me if I had any little anecdotes to tell, I said “yes, Our Lady gave me some Rosary beads,” I explained how I had obtained the beads and said to Sister “I will show you them.” I put the beads into Sister’s hand, she looked at them, and then she turned to Mother Superior and said “Mother can I keep them.” I could not believe what I was hearing, however, if she was feeling in any way what I had felt when the beads were put into my hand, I could understand her reaction. Also, I felt that if Our Lady now wanted to give these beads to this Sister I had to let them go. Mother Superior said “yes” to Sister and it was then that I was given the knowledge of why the beads had been taken from me; I had got too proud and boastful about them and the fact that Our Lady had given them to me through the book. In my heart I responded to Our Lady, “Okay Mother, I understand and I am sorry, but now I have no Rosary beads so I will look to You to supply me with them, in Your time.”
We returned to Whitstable, it was a Wednesday night. At that time, on Thursdays we had exposition of the Blessed Sacrament in our Church after the 7a.m. Mass until 3p.m. Now when the Blessed Sacrament is exposed I do not like to leave the Church if at all possible. I now know I was granted special grace in that I was given a profound love for Jesus in the Eucharist. On that Thursday I remained with the Lord all day from the Mass at 7a.m. until 3p.m. Whilst there, at various times during the day, I had a deep conviction that I was to go immediately afterwards to St. Peter’s Convent in Herne Bay where the Sisters had exposition of the Blessed Sacrament from 4p.m. to 5p.m. on Thursdays this I did. As I walked into the little Chapel one of the Sisters, Sister Eugene was there and she had something in her hand. When she saw me she asked “have you lost some Rosary beads”, I immediately thought that this was Our Lady’s answer to my prayer, so I answered “no but I am expecting a gift from Our Lady.” Sister said she would check with Sister Wilfred, (who has since died). When Sister Eugene came back she put the beads into my hand and said, “there you are, your gift from Our Lady. Sister Winifred said the beads have been here for about a month and although she has asked everyone no one has claimed them.” I knelt down immediately to pray the Rosary and as Our Lady requested opened the book between each decade. The first message I opened at the pearl was “only through the Rosary will you make me happy.” Reading that entire message spoke volumes to me. At the beginning Our Lady says “look to Me for everything I will not disappoint you.” Well, She did not disappoint me; She got me the Rosary beads. At the end of that message Our Lady speaks of “those in enclosed Orders “, the Convent where Sister Sally lives is an enclosed Order and that is the only place in the book where enclosed Order is mentioned. Then Our Lady speaks of the “precious little tulips I give you,” the Rosary beads I was given, each bead is shaped like a little tulip. Also, Our Lady said that they were “scented with Heaven.” Well when I was in Dublin in February 2000 to see a Bishop about obtaining the Nihil Obstat for the book of messages, I was also asked to speak to a prayer group at Kimmage Manor, which is a large Seminary. I was extremely nervous about speaking there, just as I am wherever I go. However, before I left the house to go to Kimmage Manor the visionary told me that I must speak about the Rosary beads, (I had not been saying anything about them being mindful of what had happened to the last ones.) I was told that they were a grace given and I must speak about that. I took the beads out of the pouch and held them in my hand and immediately the whole room was filled with the perfume of incense and roses and it was coming from the Rosary beads. It was then I remembered the last words of Our Lady’s message that the beads were scented with Heaven and would stir me on in virtue. They did, this gave me the boost of confidence I needed to speak at Kimmage Manor that night.
I continued to speak about Our Lady Message of Mercy wherever I was invited throughout 1999. It was while doing this work I was told about Our Lady visiting in Medugorje and how She had asked us to fast two days a week on bread and water. Prior to this I had always found it difficult to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, I loved food, I loved cooking it and I loved eating it. However, as Our Lady had asked this I decided to at least try to do it. No one was more surprised than myself when I found it so easy so I decided to add a third day to the fast, having bread and water on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays. This I also found too easy so I decided to have just water on those days. At that time I was congratulating myself for being so wonderful in doing this, however I now realise that this was abundant grace being granted and that I could not have done this fast without that grace. It was about this time I was given the inspiration to do the consecration to Jesus through Mary (St. Louis-Marie De Montfort) I believe this to have been a heavenly inspiration because at that time I knew nothing about this Saint, other than his name, or his writings and had no idea how I was to go about this. I asked friends and acquaintances and anyone new I met if they knew about this consecration or how I was to go about it. It was about the last day of August or the first of September 1999 when I was finally given the little book of thirty-three days of prayer and the consecration at the end. The lady who gave it to me said that I was to wait and start it only on a date that would ensure that it concluded on a feast day of Our Lady. However I knew in my heart that I was to start it immediately, which I did, and I believe that it was very significant that it concluded on the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi. I had started the thirty-three days of prayer when I was inspired to do something extra to prepare for this consecration, so I decided to fast for a week on water; it was on or about the fifth of September 1999. That morning as I prepared to go to Mass I heard a voice in my heart (this is the only way that I can describe it) says “the Eucharist will sustain you.” I did not fully understand this then, I thought it was assurance that I would not suffer any ill effects from the fast. However, as that week progressed I found that by the Wednesday/Thursday that I had a very strong feeling that I was to continue with the fast. It was at this time that I started to think that I was getting in too deep and mentally telling myself to take a step back. I had never heard of anyone surviving on the Eucharist, however, being Irish, I had heard of hunger strikers dying. Although my rational mind was telling me that if you don’t eat you die, at the same time I had such profound peace in my heart that I cannot describe and I just knew that there was something else going on that I did not understand. So, rather than just do what my rational mind was telling me I asked the visionary in Dublin to ask Our Lady what would She like me to do. The reply I received was to read the message of the tenth June in Our Lady’s book. I decided to trust Our Lady as She had asked, and continued from then to consume just water and the Eucharist and Precious Blood.
Gradually over the next six months I found myself drinking less and less and even the medication I had been prescribed for my high blood pressure and asthma I was forgetting to take. By March 2000 I was going all day without having any water or medication and I just knew that I did not need either and therefore stopped having any water and medication. My sister, who was one of only three people who knew of the fast was deeply concerned for my health when I stopped having water, even though I assured her that I felt very well, healthier that I had ever been. However, to ally her fears Our Lady gave me a message through the visionary, She said, ‘you can eat if you wish, you can drink if you wish, but you do not need it to sustain life. All you need to sustain life is the Eucharist and the Precious Blood and that grace will never be taken away, but the grace is granted as a witness to My Message of Mercy.” I am healthier now than I have ever been and have boundless energy. I also know in my heart that this is not a fast but that I live on the Eucharist.
During that initial six months I did not advertise the fact that I only consumed water and the Eucharist, as I did not want any attention on me. Even when I went to see the Bishop in February 2000 to obtain the Nihil Obstat I did not mention this to him, I felt at that time that it was private. However, when Our Lady said that the grace was granted as a witness to Her Message of Mercy I knew I had to speak about it but only that it was a sign of the True Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist and the authenticity of the message.
At Easter 2000 my fiend Monica New York s being received into the Church and she asked if I would be her sponsor, and sent the ticket for me to travel. Whilst I was in New York I endeavoured to spread Our Lady’s Message of Mercy to the World. On Easter Sunday I spoke to my friend and asked her to keep me a little of everything she was having to eat that day and I was going to eat at midnight, as this was such a special celebration and the most important day in our liturgical calendar. I felt I could have something to eat (as I said earlier, I love food,) also my Parish Priest would encourage us on feast days to have, as he would put it, some material celebration for the feast. At midnight that night I sat down to my meal. It was like feeding time at the zoo, as everyone there sat at the table watching every mouthful going into my mouth, I didn’t care, I enjoyed it so much, and even to this day I can still taste the ice cream I finished the meal with. It has only been in the last couple of years that I was advised of the miracle that occurred that night; I never even thought there might be any difficulty. A Priest advised me first and a Doctor confirmed it, after not eating for so long I should have been extremely ill, but now I believe that Our Lady allowed me to have that meal that night because I had no ill effects whatever. But I got greedy; on the Monday I said to my friend that as we were still in the octave of Easter I could have a little to eat. I did the same thing on Tuesday. However, on Wednesday there was a group of people coming to my friends home to pray the Cantons of Our Lady Queen of the Home, the prayer format Our Lady has given us, so I decided not to eat anything during the day, but my friend had prepared a buffet for after the prayers and I was looking forward to that. We prayed the Cantons and at the end of the prayers Our Lady has asked us to ask Her through the book, how we are each doing spiritually. I said a prayer and opened the book for everyone else there but when it came to my turn I handed the book to a nun who was present and asked her to open it for me. We all said a prayer and Sister opened the book, there was great hilarity at the pearl of the message opened, it was “renew your resolutions and begin again.” I did not partake of the buffet that night. I continued to spread Our Lady’s message and living on the Eucharist continued.
Since starting this work for Our Lady I have been granted numerous graces and blessings although I am very conscious of the fact that I, in no way, have done anything to deserve them. I will list some of them here as best as I can in order of progression.
The first such grace as I was lying in bed waiting for the alarm to go signaling it was time to get up when I felt a beautiful peace surround me and then I felt myself lifted up as though I were a little child and hugged. I felt the physical contact but did not see anything. Even now when I am in need of comfort I am transported back and relive that moment. I believe it was Our Blessed Mother.
For many months I was awakened at 3a.m. and shown many delights, sometimes beautiful gardens with people walking about, other times I was shown Angels. There was always a feeling of profound peace accompanying these visions and an invitation to pray. On one occasion I was shown a vision of a great number of people up to their chests in flames. Their mouths were open as though crying out for help, yet no sound was heard. Their arms were lifted up in supplication. I was given the urge to pray and said “Jesus, Mary and Joseph I love you, save souls.” Each time I said this prayer I saw one of the souls fly to Heaven. I continued until all had gone to Heaven. I was then given the knowledge that this vision was to teach me the value and power of each little prayer said from the heart.
On another occasion I was shown myself as a little girl, of about five years old in ankle socks, I was running full tilt towards someone I could not see apart from His hands, which were held out in invitation, the feeling of joy was so overwhelming I cried. I was given the knowledge that it was God the Father and it was to show to me how close He is to all, just as all good fathers are. This was again shown to me on another occasion when I was again a little girl skipping along beside someone, I could only see His legs because I only came up to His thighs, my hand was in His and I was breathless trying to tell Him all about my day, tripping over my tongue in my eagerness. I was again given the knowledge that it was God the Father. Another time I was feeling a lowliness of spirit when I suddenly saw just a hand held out to me and I knew I was to place my hand into this hand. I immediately felt complete peace and comfort. Again I was given the knowledge that it was God the Father and this was to confirm that He is so close we just have to metaphorically hold out our hands and He is there for us.
On a visit to the Seminary at Upholland in the north of England for a Padre Pio weekend retreat, I was in my room lying on the bed in prayer. I was shown a vision of a vast area of earth. Everything looked normal at first then I was gradually aware that there were dark patches appearing over the land. These grew until there was more dark than light. Then as I was looking only a few pockets of light remained, and then these also were extinguished one by one until there was total darkness. I had a tremendous feeling of fear and panic emanating from the darkness. I do not fully understand this but I was given the knowledge that I would be used to lead the people out of the darkness.
On a four thy visit to Lourdes with two friends I had gone immediately to the Demesne and finding the Adoration Chapel I went in. I had not noticed the passage of time until checking my watch I saw that it was 1:30am. I had not informed my friends that I would be so late and feared they would be worried so I started back towards the gates. When I got to the gates of the Demesne they were locked. There was no one around and it was obviously very dark. I was a little apprehensive and looking about to find a way out. I noticed a little pathway leading upwards towards the road above and I started along it. At that moment a little old lady dressed in black appeared walking along beside me, she had a rosary beads in her hand. All apprehension left me and I felt a deep peace in my heart, I continued on my way with the lady beside me. No words were spoken but from time to time the lady would look at me and smile, she had the most beautiful smile. When we reached the square outside the main gates I turned to smile at the lady before going towards my hotel, she smiled at me, then she pressed the rosary beads into my hand, I tried to give them back but she was insistent. Still no words were spoken. As I walked away I turned again to look at the lady but she had vanished, there was no one else in the square and only seconds had elapsed. The rosary beads the lady gave me are luminous beads just as are the beads on Our Lady’s image given to the visionary. Also the medal on the beads has an image of Our Lady and around Her in Latin are the words Madre del Divino Amore (Mother of Divine Love.) The visionary in Dublin was given messages from Jesus on His Divine Love. I have been given the knowledge this little old lady was Our Blessed Mother.
Once, when I was in my Parish Church during exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, after I had been there for about seven hours, I saw the Holy Spirit leaning over my shoulder whispering in my ear. I did not hear any words but I was given the knowledge that what He was telling me was for a later date and would be revealed in time. He had dark hair and wore a white robe. The usual feeling of profound peace accompanied this vision. It was on the same day towards the end of the exposition period, which on that day was from the 7am, Mass until 8pm., when I felt that truly profound peace settle over me again. I then felt a physical presence beside me and I was given the knowledge that it was Jesus; He put His arms around me and gave me a very exuberant hug and a smacking kiss on my cheek.
Again on a Padre Pio weekend retreat, this time at Our Lady’s shrine at Walsingham in Norfolk, I had driven the bus carrying all the books and other materials that would be needed for the pilgrims to buy, I was kept very busy ferrying these items and people about for the weekend. I felt sad that I had been unable to join in the many devotions over the weekend due to my duties with the bus. On the Sunday morning, although I knew that Mass would be celebrated at the main shrine at midday before we left, I was trying to get to Mass at the Parish Church at 9.30a.m. I had the bus loaded up and all was ready so I felt that I had time to do this. However, I was being delayed with people stopping me asking me about different things, consequently, by the time I reached the village square outside the Church there was no one about, I felt sure I was going to be late, my watch stated it was 9.35a.m.and I do not like being late for Mass. I rushed into the Church and was delighted to find the Priest only then coming out of the Sacristy. Just as I moved into one of the pews a tall man came in beside me. I was a little bewildered as to where he had come from, as there had been no one about in the square. He was dressed simply with wavy light brown hair down to his shoulders and had open sandals on his feet. At the Consecration I heard sniffling from this man and I felt sorrow for him, as he seemed upset. I prayed for him that he would find peace. As Mass progressed and we came to the sign of peace he turned to me and took my hand in both of his, paused, looking into my eyes and then said “peace be to you.” I was looking into the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen but it was the love that was looking out of them that captured me, it was then I knew Jesus was beside me. When it was our turn to go up to receive the Eucharist He left the pew first and was in front of me. There was a lady in front of Him, just as we got near the altar He was gone and it was the lady in front of me, He was nowhere in sight. After I received the Eucharist and went back to my pew He was not there either. I stayed for as long as I could after Mass praying and contemplating what had happened, also wondering had I dreamed the whole thing. However, when I left the Church there were three men from the group I was with waiting for me, they had been standing at the back of the Church. They were very excited and immediately asked me was that really Jesus beside me and they were asking me where He went as He had disappeared so suddenly and they could not see where He went. I have since been given the knowledge that it was indeed Jesus beside me.
I thank you for taking the time to read this and ask for your prayers so that I may always know and do God’s Holy Will under the guidance of Our Holy Mother.